


Oh my, oh my, there's blood in my hair

by sweetiedarling



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Gen, Ghosts, Good Brother Ben Hargreeves, Hurt No Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Murder, Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-11 19:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20551484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetiedarling/pseuds/sweetiedarling
Summary: Ever since Klaus discovered his power, he's had these sort of... blackouts, let's call them. One minute he'd be doing something, minding his business and ignoring the ghosts, and the next, he's blinking his eyes open for what feels like the first time in days and he's doing something entirely different.This continues for years until one day, after his father's funeral, he blinks and there's blood on his hands, his siblings are crowding him, and Luther's trying to get him to bed.





	Oh my, oh my, there's blood in my hair

**Author's Note:**

> Probably ooc some places. Also, this isn't really too correct with the dissociation thing, but that's because I'm going for possession and dissociation at the same time.

Ever since Klaus discovered his power (curse), he's had these sort of black outs. He's not sure how to describe it other than that, but it's like... one minute he's doing one thing and the next he's blinking his eyes open and he's doing something else. No one else seems to notice or be concerned about it, so Klaus just ignores it and tries to forget about it until the next time it happens.

The first time it happened that he can remember, Klaus was nine, he thinks. He had been bothering Allison, pestering her to let him look through her skirts and dresses, or for her to do his makeup. His sister had huffed and let him go through her clothes, but she had gone to find Luther whilst he did it.

So, there he was, in all of his curious glory, rifling through Allison's pink and purple, and sparkly skirts and dresses, ignoring the wailing from a ghost behind him and the muttering from a little boy in the corner, when all of a sudden, he had closed his eyes and blinked, and he was in his own room, wearing one of Allison's dresses over his uniform and scribbling on his bedroom wall.

At the time he had brushed it off at the time as lack of sleep because of the ghosts, figuring he must've just forgotten that he'd put on Allison's dress and gone to his own room. The excuse at the time had seemed quite plausable, easily believable what with his new training sessions at the mausoleum and the screaming ghosts at night.

The black outs continued to happen, though. They became less and less easy to write off as exhaustion, but that didn't stop him from doing it. He thinks the worst time it had happened was when he'd been trying on Grace's heels and had 'woken up' at the bottom of the stairs with a broken jaw.

His jaw had been wired shut for eight weeks after that, meaning he couldn't talk. Even if he wanted to tell his siblings he didn't know what had happened, he couldn't. When he could finally talk again, he had already forgotten that he didn't fall down the stairs by himself. 

After that fiasco, the blackouts stopped for a few months, much to Klaus' immense relief. During that time, he'd gotten into drugs after discovering they dampened his powers. He'd sneak out in the dead of night, find someone willing to sell to a kid and return home high out of his mind. He didn't remember much about that period of his life when it all revolved around drugs, but he knew that they had lost Five, and then, a few years later, Ben had died, and he and the others (bar Luther) left home.

To be honest, he forgot about the blackouts what with his life going to shit. And, anyway, it was hard to realise you'd blacked out when you were already high out of your mind on your pill of the night. In Klaus' experience, anyway. Ben usually told him whenever it happened, concern usually radiating off of his ghost body in waves that made Klaus root through his pockets for a pill or whatever he had on him at the time. In the end, Ben only ended up telling him about his blackouts if they were particularly bad.

Which, sometimes, they were. The worst time during his homelessness and desperation for his next high, he had blacked out in a club. He came to in the alleyway out back, shirtless, aching all over, and with a particularly large gash across his thigh. He was pissed that his pants had a gash in them too as a result, but he couldn't be bothered to fix them so he simply got rid of them and bought a new pair of leather pants with some lovely patterns on the sides.

Since his father's death, Klaus hasn't blacked out much (which is an improvemen, he thinks). Ben says he's only blacked out a handful of times and it hasn't been anything serious, just Klaus gaining a blank look and walking to different rooms of the house before waking up, and whatever. He thinks he might have blacked out when Hazel and Cha-Cha kidnapped him, but it mustn't have been for long because they didn't say anything so they probably didn't notice.

After saving the world from Vanya's wrath and letting his sister know that she is loved and that they didn't mean to ignore her their entire childhood, and then putting the blame on their father (it's been a long few days, he realises), Klaus finds himself lay on his childhood bed, trying once again to knit something. It's not going very well, but he doesn't let that put him off.

Ben is sat at the end of the bed, through Klaus' feet, reading a book. He's tempted to ask where he even got a book (what with being dead and all), but he knows he won't get an answer. Everytime he's asked in the past, the question has been carefully deflected. So well, Klaus didn't even realise he hadn't gotten an answer until he was too high to form words.

The purple yarn in his hands gets tangled somehow and Klaus huffs, trying to yank his fingers out of the yarn so he can begin untangling it. He's just about to start taking the needles out and unknot a tangled part of the yarn when something harsh and painful, and unforgiving tears through him. It starts in the centre of his chest and quickly worms its way up into his head and the oit of his stomach. He can hardly breathe, let alone make a sound and inform Ben of what's going on.

He looks up to his brother to try and convey through fucking telepathyor _something_ that he's in unbearable pain, to help him or get one of the others to help him, but he can't make a sound and Ben can't see him past his stupid hood and he's got that fucking book in his face, and he suddenly comes to to the conclusion that he must be dying. For real, this time. It feels nothing like all this times in the recent past that he's overdosed, or like at the rave when he hit his head protecting Luther. He can feel his soul being _torn_ from his immobile body and he tries and tries to get back, but he can't. His soul's as immobile as his body is.

... 

Ben calmly flicks to a new page in his book and begins reading again. The book isn't so interesting (not once you've read it a hundred times in the past god knows how many years), but it's something to do whilst Klaus messes about trying to knit... Whatever it is he's trying to knit. He doesn't think Klaus knows either, but his brother hasn't said anything, so he's leaving him to it instead of criticising.

It's as he reaches the bottom of the page that he realises Klaus has gone oddly still. He's not even trying to knit anymore, he's just... frozen. Ben looks up with curiosity, peering past his black hood, to see Klaus sat against the headboard, yarn and needles abandoned in his lap, and eyes staring unseeingly ahead, straight through Ben. The latter comes to the conclusion that Klaus must've blacked out again.

Sighing, Ben closes the book and sends it away to wherever he gets books from (not even he knows). Then he stands and moves around the bed to reach Klaus' side. His brother is still unresponsive, staring where Ben had just been sat. He hasn't moved an inch.

It's concerning. Usually when Klaus 'goes away', so to speak, he wastes no time in wandering around and finding things to do. He mostly gets into all sorts of unusual situations, but he sometimes simply goes to another room, stands there for a bit, and then comes back. According to Klaus it's been happening since he discovered his powers, and not even the drugs can stop it. Ben doesn't know what it is that's been causing the blackouts, but he knows that he can at least can an eye on his brother while he goes through them.

With concern at his odd stillness, Ben waves a hand in front of Klaus' face, hoping for some kind of response.

He doesn't get one; not even a flicker of movement from his brother.

He's silently debating what to do or how he can help Klaus, when his brother suddenly stands and stalks out of the room. He doesn't even show any sign that he knows Ben's there as he stalks past him.

His footsteps are worryingly light and silent as he heads down the hallway, past their siblings' rooms, as Ben follows him with confusion and curiosity. This blackout isn't like any of the others, he comes to realise; he can't explain it, it's just... different. He doesn't want to leave Klaus' side, no matter what, so he picks up his pace when Klaus exits the house into the cool night air. He's not wearing his coat and his arms are exposed in his tank top, but Klaus doesn't even show aby indication that he's cold.

... 

When Ben follows his brother back home a few hours later, his hands are shoved deep into his his pockets and he's keeping his head down. He doesn't know what's just happened or how to react to this new development in his brother's behaviour during blackouts, but he knows he can't tell Klaus about what he's done otherwise his brother might just go off the deep end (again). He just hopes his brother will clean himself up before coming back to himself. Klaus isn't stupid and if he wakes up to find himself covered in blood, he'll be able to piece things together.

Klaus steps through the academy doors at two am in the morning, finding them unlocked (and Ben's concerns for his other siblings' safety isn't his priority right now), and heads straight upstairs to his bedroom. The yarn is still in a pile on his bed, as are the needles, but it takes Ben a moment to realise the door was closed. It hadn't been when Klaus left, which means one of their siblings must have gone into the room, or walked past it and closed the door.

He wishes he could close the door now to give Klaus some privacy as his brother simply slumps down to the floor in the middle of the room and stays there, his blood hands reaching up and resting either side of his also bloody face. There isn't much of his brother left that isn't covered in blood, really, and it reminds Ben of the Academy days when he had to use the Horrors to take out enemies if they were overwhelmed.

In the present, Klaus is taking deep, shuddering breaths from his place on the floor and Ben isn't sure if his brother is back of if just he's coming back, or what. Either way, he kneels down in front of him and tries to catch his eye. It isn't very successful, as his brother still looks right through him.

He's saved from having to try and bring Klaus back, however, when footsteps catch his ears. They're heels and Ben mentally curses. The last thing he needs right now is Allison spotting Klaus in the state he's in and causing a scene when their brother can't even defend himself. He stands and goes to the door, trying to close it despite the amount of times his hands phase through the wood. 

It's too late, anyway, as Allison comes up to the open door and peers in absently as she walks. Then, she stops, spotting Klaus sat on the floor, covered in blood, with wide, vacant eyes staring ahead.

"Klaus?" She inquires gently, cautiously. Ben glares at her. There's no need to be cautious; it isn't his fault what happened.

Klaus makes no move, doesn't even hear her. 

"Klaus, buddy, are you okay?" Allison continues as she steps into the room slowly. She keeps approaching until she's kneeling in front of Klaus, just like Ben had been a second ago.

Allison slowly reaches out and brushes a bloody curl away from Klaus' eyes, frowning. She pulls her hand back and inspects the speck of blood on the tip of her finger. Then, she stands, casts a look at Klaus, and leaves the room quickly. She heads back down the hallway, the way she'd come from and Ben can faintly hear talking. He wants to know why now, of all nights (or mornings), his siblings suddenly decided to stay up instead of going to sleep like normal people.

He's just crouching in front or Klaus, eaving a hand in front of his face to try and bring his brother back because if what he'd already done wasn't concerning enough, the fact that he's been out of it for hours is now starting to make itself apparent. Klaus looks sickly, like he could drop dead any second. Ben wouldn't be surprised if he did, he looks the part of a dead man.

A purple portal opens up beside him and out steps Five, looking annoyed and mildly curious. Obviously Allison had told him what she'd come across and he didn't believe her, but was curious anyway.

When Five sees Klaus, his eyebrows pinch like he hadn't expected to actually find what he had, but wasn't too surprised in the end. He steps towards Klaus and kneels down, looking the man in the eyes. He's searching for something, Ben realises. He's still staring at Klaus when the others enter the room, Vanya gasping in shock at the state of her brother, whilst Luther looks cautious and Diego doesn't look much of anything really. His brother is still hiding his emotions behind a shittt facade.

"What the hell happened?" Diego asks, stepping around Luther to reach Klaus.

"I don't know," Five says, "but whatever it was, I don't think Klaus had anything to do with it."

"He's covered in blood," Luther points out much in the way he'd tried to explain that Vanya was dangerous. Ben wants to punch him.

"He might have been there, physically, yes," Five straightens up, "but not mentally. I don't think he's even in his own body, right now."

Ben starts. Not in how own body? How was that possible? How can someone just leave their own body yet continue walking around? 

"What the hell does that mean?" Diego demands.

Five sighs, as if he's about to explain something to a child.

"I believe he's dissociating, or something of the like. I'm no expert," Five tells Diego and the others.

Dissociating? It would make sense, Ben realises, but why would he do what he did tonight? Why would he kill someone?

"But he's covered in blood," Luther still states the obvious.

"No shit, Sherlock," Five hisses, hands in his pockets as he whirls to face the man ten time his size. Luther actually shrinks under Five's gaze. "But if he's dissociating, he obviously didn't do whatever it is he did on purpose. He had no control over it. He isn't even in his own body right now."

"What do you think he did?" Vanya asks timidly, but from the look on her face she already knows.

Five sighs. 

"I think he must've killed someone."

Diego puts a hand to his mouth, heavily breathing through his nose.

"Shit," he says and that about sums it up. Ben would like to forget what he saw.

"That's not Klaus," Allison says sadly, "Klaus wouldn't hurt a fly unless provoked. He isn't like that."

"Like I said, this isn't him," Five repeats and then turns back to Luther, "can you get him in his bed?"

Luther nods and steps up to Klaus, his footsteps resonating throughout the room. He sighs and reaches down to Klaus, going to pick him up. 

Then, it's like something snapped within Klaus as he blinks harshly, looks down at the hands about to grab him, and scrambles backwards away from Luther. 

"What the fuck?" He whispers, looking down at himself.

"Klaus?" Vanya prompts quietly, but her voice is still kind and for that, Ben is grateful.

Klaus looks up, eyes wide and confused, and undoubtedly scared, and he shakes his head, rubbing his arms as if he's trying to wipe away the red staining his arms.

"Klaus, do you remember what happened?" Five asked him, stepping forward. His eyes are curious and scientific, and he's scrutinising Klaus like he's some lab rat. Like dad.

"No, I just," Klaus stops, blinking harshly, "I just remember some kind of pain, and now I'm here... covered in blood. What the fuck?"

"I think you dissociated, Klaus," Five deduces, "and you killed someone."

"What? Killed someone? No, I-" Klaus shakes his head helplessly as he struggles to his feet, "no, I.... Who? Who did I kill?"

"We don't know," Five says, "Allison just found you in here on the floor."

Klaus looks down at himself again, taking in his state, then looks up at Ben. The latter tries to give hom a reassuring smile, but it's hard when his brother just looks so out of his element, so hopeless. Even when they were kids, Klaus had actively avoided killing anyone because of the ghosts. In fact, Ben isn't sure Klaus has ever killed anyone before unlike his siblings. Hell, even Vanya had a body count.

To wake up, then, and find yourself covered in blood with your sibligs telling you that you've killed someone whilst you weren't even in the right state of mind, so to speak. It must be terrifying. 

He can't force himself to smile properly at Klaus. It probably looks more like a grimace.

Klaus shakes his head and steps around his siblings gathering in his room. 

"Where are you going?" Luther asks carefully, clearly afraid Klaus was going to kill someone else.

"I'm going to take a shower," Klaus tells him, "is that allowed?"

Luther doesn't respond, so Klaus continues on his way, and a second later the sound of a door slamming reaches their ears.

... 

The next morning, the siblings are all in the kitchen, eating breakfast (or in Five's case, drinking coffee). The conversation is light and none of them bring up what happened yesterday (not even Five and Luther) so they're all smiling and trying to move on.

Klaus is sipping a glass of scotch when the radio in the background changes from them seventies song it had been playing, to a news reporter. He sounds awfully professional, despite the words coming out of his mouth.

"_Yesterday, a body was found in a back alley behind a well-known club. The body was found by..."_

The siblings stop listening when Klaus sighs and stands up from the table. He grabs his drink and exits the room, leaving his siblings behind in silence. 


End file.
